Friday, June 27, 2008

1 for Maria Perez

i know myself

as i know who you are

for we both count misfortunes

as blessings

We swim in our tears

bathe under the rainfall of salt

to cleanse our soul

We grind in our angst

crush them like stones

upon our bleeding palms

And revel with vanity and pride

@ small victories

from somewhat, invisible wars...

We parade our battle scars

i know myself

as i know who you are

for we both exist

on a pen and paper world...

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Thir13en Ghosts

i was putting my little ones to sleep when thirteen ghosts suddenly came into my head... weird, huh? so, i rummage the internet again for the gist of the movie and the characters that make up the 12 ghosts, and this is what i find... thanks wikipedia :)

***The twelve ghosts which make up the Black Zodiac all have their own unique back story. Although these stories were not described in the film, on the DVD the production and make-up teams explain their guidelines. All the ghosts were contained in glass prisons. Dennis' psychic abillities and Cyrus' resources are used to catch them. Cyrus narrates each ghost's back story.

1. The First Born Son -- is the ghost of Billy Michaels, a boy who was a fan of cowboy films. One day, a neighbor found a real steel arrow in his parents' closet. He challenged Billy to a duel, with Billy using a toy gun. However, his plaything was no match for the arrow, which the neighbor used to kill Billy by shooting it through the back of his head. In death, Billy is in his cowboy suit with an arrow impaled in his head. He is holding a tomahawk axe.

2. The Torso -- is the ghost of a gambler called Jimmy "The Gambler" Gambino. Losing everything in a boxing match to Larry "The Finger" Vatello, he tried to welch on his bet and escape. The mob and Larry, to whom he owed money, caught up with Gambino and cut him into several pieces, wrapping them in cellophane and dumping the corpse into the ocean. His ghost is just his torso, trying to walk around on its hands, while his head lies nearby screaming within the cellophane.

3. The Bound Woman -- was a cheerleader named Susan LeGrow, who was born privileged and had a penchant for seducing men and tossing them away. This left a long trail of broken hearts. A pre-prom affair leads to her current boyfriend strangling her (and killing the other man). He buries her body at the fifty yard line of the local football field. The boyfriend was convicted and sentenced to death; before his execution, he was quoted as saying, "The bitch broke my heart, so I broke her neck." Her ghost is in her prom dress, hanging suspended by the strangling implements with her arms tied behind her back.

4. The Withered Lover -- is Jean Kriticos, Arthur's wife. She was burned severely saving her family from a devastating house fire. She later dies of her wounds in the hospital. Her ghost is still in a hospital gown, carting an IV and showing severe burns on her face. Unlike the other ghosts, she is not a vengeful spirit, electing to help her family rather than show malevolence.

5. The Torn Prince -- is the ghost of Royce Clayton, who was a gifted baseball star in High School, albeit with attitude issues and a superiority complex. He challenged a greaser, named Johnny, to a drag race but was killed as his car spun out of control and flipped over. His brakes had been cut. His body was buried in a plot of earth that overlooked the baseball diamond. His ghost carries a baseball bat and in the background in his cube his wrecked car can be seen. Half of his body is torn to shreds from when he was dragged under the car.

6. The Angry Princess -- is Dana Newman, who did not believe in her own natural beauty. Abusive boyfriends fueled her low self-esteem, which led to much unneeded plastic surgery for imagined defects. Eventually she got a job working for a plastic surgeon, getting paid in treatments rather than cash. Alone at the clinic one night, she tries to perform surgery on herself. She fails, blinding herself in one eye and permanently mutilating herself beyond saving. She commits suicide in the bathtub via multiple self-inflicted butcher knife slashes. When she was found, they said that she was as beautiful in death as she was in life. Her ghost is naked, still carrying the butcher knife she killed herself with and showing all the wounds. In the edited version shown on T.V., her breasts are shown clear, with the nipples edited out.

In her bathroom scene. the phrase "I'm sorry" is visible on the floor in blood; subtitles also reveal that the blurred, hissing speech that announces her arrival is her whispering "I'm sorry." This was written on her suicide note.

7. The Pilgrimess -- is the ghost of Isabella Smith, an English woman who traveled across the Atlantic and settled in New England. She was an outsider to the town she moved into, and this isolated her from the other townsfolk. She was found guilty of witchcraft after livestock began to die mysteriously, and when she emerged from a burned down barn completely unharmed, and sentenced to the stocks (pillory) with no food or drink until she died. As a ghost, she is still locked into her stocks.

8. & 9. The Great Child and The Dire Mother -- is the ghost of Margaret Shelburne, who was an attraction in a carnival due to her being only three feet tall. She was raped by the "Tall Man," another carnival freak. She bore a child, Harold, who eventually weighed over 300 pounds (136 kg).

Harold, spoiled, was raised as his mother's protector. He kept a child-like mindset. One day some of the carnival freaks decided to play a little practical joke on Harold, and kidnapped his mother. Enraged, he set out to look for her but when he caught up with the culprits he found that his mother had accidentally suffocated to death in the bag that she was kept in. Harold takes an axe and slays the other tormenters. For a time he displays what was left of them for paying customers. Later, when the owner of the carnival found out what Harold had done he ordered a mob of people to tear Harold apart. Their ghosts are always together, and Harold still wields the axe.

An alternate version of the story is told in the DVD commentary. It was said that his death was caused by him rolling over on her in sleep and him suffocating her, then him starving to death.

10. The Hammer -- is the ghost of a blacksmith, George Markley, who lived in a small town in the 1890s. He was threatened to be driven out of town after wrongfully being accused of stealing by a man named Nathan. Knowing he was innocent, he refused to leave and stayed in town. A gang led by Nathan, hangs and burns the bodies of his wife and kids. In return, George uses his sledgehammer to beat the culprits to death. George is then chained to a tree and is executed by having railroad spikes hammered into his body with his own sledgehammer. His hand is cut off and replaced with the murder weapon. The ghost is seen with the railroad spikes protruding from his body and a sledgehammer for a right hand.

11. The Jackal -- Ryan Kuhn was born in 1887 to a prostitute. Ryan had an insatiable lust for women, rape, and murdering prostitutes. Wanting to be cured he commits himself to Borehamwood Asylum but after attacking a nurse he is put in a straight jacket and thrown in a padded room. After years of imprisonment in a padded room he went completely insane, scratching at the walls so violently that his fingernails were torn completely off. The doctors kept him permanently bound in a straight jacket, tying it tighter when he acted out, causing his limbs to contort horribly. Still fighting to free himself, Ryan gnawed through his straight jacket until the doctors finally locked his head in a metal cage and sealed him away in the dark basement cell. There, he grew to hate any kind of human contact, screaming madly and cowering whenever approached. When a fire broke out in the asylum, everyone but Ryan escaped. He chose to stay behind and face the fire. As a ghost, his arms are free from his jacket, and the bars of his cage are ripped outwards, showing that he may have escaped his bindings again sometime before the fire started.

12. The Juggernaut -- was a serial killer named Horace "Breaker" Mahoney. Standing seven feet tall, his grotesque height led to his ostracization as a child. After his father died, Horace was left on his own, soon going mad. He would pick up female hitchhikers and drive them back to his junkyard, before tearing them apart with his bare hands and feeding them to his dogs. One day he picked up an under-cover female cop. The female cop called assistance and soon Horace was surrounded. Since close combat was impossible, the police instead struck the junkyard in force and brought him down in a hail of bullets. When he finally went down, they shot an extra magazine into him, just to be safe. His ghost still shows bullet holes all over his clothing, and the wound that finished him. This is the ghost that Cyrus and his team capture in the opening scene.

13. Willing Sacrifice -- The 13th ghost is not actually a ghost but a willing human sacrifice (the sacrifice of the broken heart), the only ghost to be created out of an act of pure love. The thirteenth ghost is the key to the device powered by the thirteen souls. Once this thirteenth sacrifice has been made, the eye of hell can be opened.

Friday, June 13, 2008

What is DADA then???

NOUN:
A European artistic and literary movement (1916-1923) that flouted conventional aesthetic and cultural values by producing works marked by nonsense, travesty, and incongruity.

Another Attempt @ Dada

so she made herself too small

almost became invisible

if you chance upon a wallflower

then it means, your heart is pure

it was almost june then

now it just keeps on going,

going,

til it's gone.

do i say goodbye

to my beloved vampire?

do nothing but wear

music all the time

because people are not only

sensed,

other than seen,

thay are heard and smelt...

on day can come crashing i know

when will we ever see snow?

i don't know.

i really don't know...

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

getting the hang of...

*** online shopping... yesterday, i take a stab @ trying to order online without a credit card, I'm not sure if i messed it up and got the seller totally whackedout and confused, but i try my bestest to explain that - this is what i want... no more, no less... and i want it soon... hmmm, demanding end-user... hopefully they get my 1 order apiece right... am super-excited...!!! does it show???

*** doing mainbank calls... because the RES-queue has been super-kyuwing since the start of the year... and it's not an exaggeration to say that "RESQ is the new mainbank"

*** posting comments on friends' sites... i used to be super-conscious of what to say, because i might end-up sounding either too profound and begging for an explanation, or a complete jackass, or worse - just plain, super-lame...

*** not having too much coffee in a shift without exploding and acting like someone from hell incarnate...

Monday, June 09, 2008

1989

i seem to be,

warped from reality

a tad strange

a shade absurd

and for that i'm treated diff'rently

i don't mind...

*** i guess as early as that, i realized i was not like a lot of people... and my otherworldliness keeps becoming apparent as the days go by... i don't mind.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Who is an Empath?

Empaths are often poets in motion. They are the born writers, singers, and artists with a high degree of creativity and imagination. They are known for many talents as their interests are varied, broad and continual, loving, loyal and humorous. They often have interests in many cultures and view them with a broad-minded perspective. They are mother, father, child, friend, nurse, caregiver, teacher, doctor, sales people... to psychic, clairvoyant, healer, etc. (That is not to say that any of these categories are all empaths.) The list is extensive and really unimportant. It is more important to notice that empaths are everywhere--in every culture and throughout the world.

Traits of an Empath

Empaths are often quiet and can take a while to handle a compliment for they're more inclined to point out another's positive attributes. They are highly expressive in all areas of emotional connection, and talk openly, and, at times, quite frankly in respect to themselves. They may have few problems talking about their feelings.

However, they can be the exact opposite: reclusive and apparently unresponsive at the best of times. They may even appear ignorant. Some are very good at blocking out others and that's not always a bad thing, at least for the learning empath struggling with a barrage of emotions from others, as well as their own feelings.

Empaths have a tendency to openly feel what is outside of them more so than what is inside of them. This can cause empaths to ignore their own needs. In general an empath is non-violent, non-aggressive and leans more towards being the peacemaker. Any area filled with disharmony creates an uncomfortable feeling in an empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a confrontation, they will endeavor to settle the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it all together. If any harsh words are expressed in defending themselves, they will likely resent their lack of self-control, and have a preference to peacefully resolve the problem quickly.

Empaths are sensitive to TV, videos, movies, news and broadcasts. Violence or emotional dramas depicting shocking scenes of physical or emotional pain inflicted on adults, children or animals can bring an empath easily to tears. At times, they may feel physically ill or choke back the tears. Some empaths will struggle to comprehend any such cruelty, and will have grave difficulty in expressing themselves in the face of another's ignorance, closed-mindedness and obvious lack of compassion. They simply cannot justify the suffering they feel and see.

People of all walks of life and animals are attracted to the warmth and genuine compassion of empaths. Regardless of whether others are aware of one being empathic, people are drawn to them as a metal object is to a magnet! They are like beacons of light.

Even complete strangers find it easy to talk to empaths about the most personal things, and before they know it, they have poured out their hearts and souls without intending to do so consciously. It is as though on a sub-conscious level that person knows instinctively that empaths would listen with compassionate understanding.

Here are the listeners of life. Empaths are often problem solvers, thinkers, and studiers of many things. As far as empaths are concerned, where a problem is, so too is the answer. They often will search until they find one--if only for peace of mind.



***Written by Christel Broederlow Copyright (c) 2002 Christel Broederlow Shortened Version from The Empath Report 101

because today my horoscope reads...

VirgoBe encouraging and help others ride the wave of good energy that you're on, right now! It's easy for you to create good times for your people because you are feeling exceptionally generous and warm toward the people you care about most. You know all their favorite activities, so why not plan something that you know they'll love? Even if you just have a friend over to watch their favorite television show at your place, they will love being hosted in such a thoughtful way.

Friday, June 06, 2008

HE WALKS BY

bottlecap shades, walks down the street
with an air of nonchalance
as he strides past
and doesn't seem to mind the world around him
as he goes
on an endless search
for scattered poetry on the ground

A romantic in the making's subject
becomes an object of obsession
one enveloped in mystery
behind a tinted glass sanctuary

i could only lust
@ what lies hidden
beyond this poet's mind
i could only yearn,
as i trail him from behind.
And he doesn't know
how i scrutinize (him)
with microscope-like eyes
and how this desire grows
into majestic proportions
day by day by day by day

As he walks on by
with his eyes hidden behind
bottle-cap shades.

*** for LL 1993 -- my gawd, i'm recycling old poetry... am i becoming pathetic... ??? hope not =c

Sunday, June 01, 2008

well, now what?

What Kind of Empath Are You?
You are a Healer Empath. You take in the energy of others and transmute it. You trigger transformation in others and free trapped energy. You are capable of great healing abilities. You walk between the worlds and bring waves of healing energy with your presence. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Empaths/)
Healer
95%
Universal
90%
Traveler
85%
Shaman
85%
Judge
80%
Artist
80%
Fallen Angel
75%
Precog
70%

*** i haven't really thought about it much, but in a way, i have always felt i knew the answer, but was afraid of what i'd find... so i kept everything in a box and wished it did not exist... well, here ia am again, and how do i start to harness/ hone it for the benefit of others that i wish to help??? hmmm... where do i begin??? moreso, how do i begin?

Shadow

In the absence of light,

she gazes upon the stars

she waits,

she arrives.

She is the otherkin

born from abyssmal dreams

and born for carnal pleasures

She partakes of the non-living

and the living, damned

alike.

Tho ones whose fortunes

have been dealt with

a bad hand

though she as herself

knows not how to gamble...

But

she finds herself

within their midst

lured to play

the role of madness and destruction

She is

unwilling, and yet

she plays the part well

in the theater of tragedy

her

love's unbroken spell...

*** The Psi Vampires are fascinating creatures... i feel i have befriended one and our paths keep crossing, every now and then... she believed in what her "psychotherapist" diagnosed her to be and now she has slowly diminished, not only her strength, moreso, her beauty, supersadness... All i can say is, she should not have listened... i miss her old self, what am i saying??? but i do... will she ever return...?